Do you rely on others telling you that you are a valuable person, in order to believe that you are a valuable person?
When you are little hearing praise is an imporant way to learn to value yourself. Praise often comes from family and friends. Having a network of supportive people in your life is important, particularly when you need help feeling good about yourself.
Some people, however, do not learn how to feel good about themselves on their own, and rely entirely on others telling them they are valuable. Some people may even work very hard to please others in order to receive praise, but do not take the time to please themselves.
A way to learn how to value yourself is to tell yourself what is good about you (I am really good at smiling), what a good job you do (look how neatly I put away the dishes), or giving yourself a reward for doing certain things (I finished my homework on time, I shall now treat myself to a video game). Sometimes it is nice to do something special for yourself for no reason at all.
Copyright © 2002 January 11, Katherine Phelps