Who I Am

Do you derive self esteem from

Using the quality of your character as a basis for your self esteem works best when you take pleasure in your character development. This needs to be done by first learning how to be patient with yourself, tolerant of your own weaknesses, recognising places where growth would be beneficial rather than judging yourself, taking things step by step. Perfectionism and comparison need to be put to one side.

A character of quality focuses on truth, integrity, kindness, gentleness, compassion, and other such values. These are learned best by first practicing these qualities on yourself, such as choosing to be kind to yourself, then practicing on family, friends, and eventually everyone. When you develop the quality of your character, you will find that you can trust and respect yourself, and others will learn they can trust and respect you as well.

Being comfortable with yourself as you are is the most solid form of self esteem. Because it comes from within yourself, you always have it with you. Everyone starts with at least a little of this; this is how we are able to use the other forms of esteem development.

Egotism is not the same as being comfortable with yourself. Egotism is a form of low self esteem. An egotistical person may try to convince others that they are superior by telling people that they are, and/or by pretending to be separate from everyone else and above. We can proudly speak of our accomplishments without having to use them to convince others of our importance. We are all important without having to be separate from others or above.

You may ask, is it okay to even like the bad bits of myself? The answer is: yes. Some bits we have decided are bad, aren't really bad at all. For instance you may believe you have an ugly nose, but you have chosen to believe this and not everyone may agree. And even so, you can like it because it helps you to smell freshly baked chocolate cake or flowers, or you can like it just because it is your nose.

I love my schnozz.

Some bits, like the part of yourself that may lie once in awhile, need your friendly, not judgemental attention. They may be telling you something about yourself that needs some loving. Why would you or anyone feel the need to lie sometimes? Perhaps because you are afraid? If you weren't afraid, or if you believed that everything would eventually be all right, would you still lie? When you were little weren't you hugged and loved to feel less afraid, and to believe things would be all right? Perhaps people who lie need to love themselves in this way to stop lying.

When you like yourself everyone wins. You find it easier to like everyone else, and everyone else finds it easier to like you.

So where do you build your self-esteem?

Where do you want to build your self-esteem?

What can you do to feel better about yourself today?