To have better disagreements, change your words – here are 4 ways to make your counterpart feel heard and keep the conversation going

Sun, 25 Jun 2023 06:56:55 +1000

Andrew Pam <xanni [at]>

Andrew Pam

"Your 18-year-old daughter announces she’s in love, dropping out of college and
moving to Argentina. Your yoga-teaching brother refuses to get vaccinated for
COVID-19 and is confident that fresh air is the best medicine. Your boss is
hiring another white man for a leadership team already made up entirely of
white men.

At home, at work and in civic spaces, it’s not uncommon to have conversations
that make you question the intelligence and benevolence of your fellow human

A natural reaction is to put forth the strongest argument for your own –
clearly superior – perspective in the hope that logic and evidence will win the
day. When that argument fails to have the intended persuasive impact, people
often grow frustrated, and disagreement becomes conflict.

Thankfully, recent research offers a different approach."

       *** Xanni ***
--               Andrew Pam                 Chief Scientist, Xanadu            Partner, Glass Wings               Manager, Serious Cybernetics

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