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"I grew up in a household that didn't value manners. We occasionally said
"please" and "thank you" but it was always done with a smirk. We weren't really
trying to be polite. Instead we'd become accustomed to making manners into a
source of mockery.
It wasn't just my family, this attitude extended to my whole community. Our
entire sense of humor was based on challenging boundaries. If we said something
that got a laugh, we took it as encouragement to take it a step further. The
comedy didn't stop until somebody said something so awful that whatever
authority figure was present had to react.
Most of the time we escaped punishment because whoever was in charge had to
begrudgingly admit that they'd let the situation escalate. We were all tiny
little dishonest lawyers perpetually arguing our innocence.
Even when I was immersed in this form of hateful culture, on a deep level I
felt that something was wrong. On many occasions, I made a joke that I knew to
be hurtful and justified myself by thinking, "She'll take note of the context
and understand this is hilarious." Sometimes that was true, but of course I was
never content to stop. I always had to push it until somebody became offended.
This attitude lurked in the back of my psyche until I first traveled abroad at
age 19. My experience with a new culture allowed me the first glimpse of how
truly toxic my behaviors had become. It also provided me with the motivation to
become a better human being.'
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
