The best sort of tolerance is not about putting up with people in order to at least muddle through a bad situation. That is more about repressing bad feelings, than about allowing difference. "Oh, I don't like that Terry. Terry is too loud, but I will pretend the noise is not awful," is not as useful as, "I find Terry loud. Maybe if I talk to Terry we can come up with a solution with which we can both be happy."
The best sort of tolerance is open to discovering more about ourselves, each other, and life. This sort of tolerance accepts that life is a mixed bag, but also understands that part of that mixed bag includes good, and some of that good we may not have experienced before or recognise right away. For instance if you had never tried chocolate before, you might be a little afraid of its dark brown color. You carefully put it to your mouth, ready to spit it out again but more willing to give it a try. Once you have placed it on your tongue and chewed it a bit, your tolerance is rewarded with a yummy taste sensation.
The way to most enjoy life then, would be to actively look for and see when things are useful and positive. To support useful and positive things, and to constantly be building such things in our lives. In this way the goodness of life can grow.
Copyright © 2002 March 08, Katherine Phelps