Bruce Blows Up

When Robbo made it to his brother's front doorstep, Bruce was in the middle of sprucing the place up a bit. He was in high hopes of a shag that evening since he was going to the movies with Marlene. He had put a bouquet of golden wattle from the tree out front into a large empty bean tin on the TV. Already he had shoved the empty beer cans out the back door and was just kicking his underwear beneath the bed.

"Bruce, you've gotta let me in fast. Bluey has lost the plot and plans to have me for tea," cried Robbo.

"Bluey's cooking has got to be better than a steady diet of Four and Twenty pies," said Bruce sauntering up to the screen door.

"No, no, Bluey's got a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock and thinks he's going to eat ME for his tea. He's already snagged my gun and taken a shot at the ute."

Bruce glanced out at the ute and sure enough, the back left tire was totally ripped. He ushered his brother in and stared out over the bush. In the distance he thought he could see Bluey on his way. He closed and locked the door. This would never do. How was he going to set the VCR to tape The Footy Show if he was coping with a crazy dingo? He certainly wasn't going to get the TV guide which sat out in the old dunny if he was under siege.

Soon enough they heard the sound of Bluey pounding on Bruce's door. The corrugated siding rattled and rumbled throughout the whole house. "Come on out you piggy wombats. My mouth is watering and my stomach is growling."

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" shouted Bruce. "Why don't you go find a baby to eat and leave off."

"I'm warning you, I'll huff and puff and blow your heads in if you don't come out."

"I'll come out all right. I'll come out to go to the dunny and if you aren't gone by the time I get back to the house, I'll call the police." Bruce then started out the back door toward the dunny. Bluey circled around to the back himself. Just as Bruce was reaching for the door Bluey shot the dunny. This ignited the methane gas of the old site blowing it up, throwing Bruce against the side of his house and knocking the house over with Robbo inside.

After a few stunned moments Bruce and Robbo made a beeline for the ute and Raelene's hole.


Copyright May 1996 Katherine Phelps