Subject: True Headline
Today on CNN.com, the following headline appeared:
Tiny rock around Uranus denied moon status
Subject: Random Results
Actual symptom for a bug in the Microsoft Knowledge Base
"SYMPTOMS Using the RAND() in an SQL UPDATE's WHERE clause can cause random
results to occur."
What's going to happen when the bug is fixed?
Subject: How low can they go?
The headline, "Pope denounces grave sex scandal," made me blanch. Then I
realized "grave" was an adjective, not a noun.
Subject: In the "unclear on the concept" department ...
Sign in front of restaurant in Framingham, MA:
Order to go from the Internet
Call for details 555-1234
My godmother was telling the story of a letter she received from a friend,
requesting a recipe for the "Like Mom Made" cookbook the friend's nonprofit
was going to put out for Mother's Day. At the bottom of the letter was a
summary of what was required for submission:
Send us your mother's favorite recipe, and if possible any antidotes that go
along with it.
I think they meant anecdotes...
Organization: Millions Consulting Limited
Subject: ESL on the net
Seen on a mailing list.
Sorry for the poor English, but it is not my naive language.
Subject: NASA Comet
On the MSNBC website, a sidebar listing other Space-related news inadvertently
mocked the recent shuttle tragedy:
Space shuttle crashes on reentry
Space.com: NEAT new comet to look for
Subject: Photo Printer
Christmas morning was at my in-law's this year. My sister-in-law (early 30s)
got a nice color printer as a present. The brand will remain nameless, but
the box was plastered with the phrase "Color Photo Printer." My sister-in-law
looks it over for several minutes, reading all sides of the box and finally
asks, "Does it print words too?"
I told her it would print a picture of words.
She said she'd kill me if she saw this on the net...
Subject: Now that's a long walk . . .
Sign near a department store escalator in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA:
ELEVATOR LOCATED IN CHINA
I don't normally take my passport with me when I'm shopping; I'll take my
chances with the escalator, thank you very much.
Subject: Toilet Paper Gun - original
I saw this on the CNN web-site this morning (Feb 9, 2004):
A prison inmate who escaped by brandishing a fake gun made of toilet
paper, tape and black ink was captured four days later after a
gunfight with police on a busy Omaha street.
No one was injured in the shootout Saturday, police said.
BA (Hons), MFA, PhD
Nothing can withstand the powers of love, laughter and imagination