<
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/dec/23/santa-claus-cruel-myth-christmas>
"In my house, Christmas Day looks very normal. My boys will wake me up at the
crack of dawn then tumble downstairs, falling over each other, to find presents
under the tree. As the tearing of wrapping paper cross-fades into screams of
excitement, for a moment, everything feels exactly as it should. Except for one
subtle difference: my children have never believed in Santa.
This isn’t the result of an “I don’t want to lie to my children” ideology or
some Scroogist attempt to be different. It’s a deliberate choice I have made,
one that is rooted in fear. Behind the fairy lights and goodwill of Christmas
lurk financial demands that many families cannot meet. According to a YouGov
poll for debt charity Step Change earlier this month, about one in three adults
with children will struggle to afford Christmas this year. For many, the
festive season brings anxiety, overdrafts and guilt rather than joy.
This is not an accidental or unfortunate side-effect of Christmas. It is what I
call “the Santa debt trap”, whereby a cultural myth does not encourage
generosity, it creates a moral economy in which parents feel judged by their
ability to buy. Christmas becomes a test, and going into debt is how many
people pass it.
Christmas is a weird time for me, as I grew up in children’s homes. It left a
particular stain that no amount of therapy will erase. The feeling that I could
lose everything at any minute has never quite left me. Security never feels
entirely secure. It feels borrowed. Every year so far, despite being
financially stable, I have lived with the quiet dread that this will be the
year a crisis destroys everything.
I know where this fear comes from. Being a care leaver means living with the
knowledge that if it all went wrong, there would be nowhere to go. No door to
knock on, no kitchen floor to collapse on, no bed to sleep in. I have no place
of last resort.
That fear sharpens the cruelty of the myth of Father Christmas. We all know the
story: “He’s making a list, checking it twice; gonna find out who’s naughty or
nice.” This isn’t harmless fun, this is moral messaging backed by money. It
tells children that all they need do is be good and their every wish will be
granted regardless of the cost, and it puts immense pressure on parents who
feel that a failure to deliver will shatter their children’s self-esteem.
I decided early on that my children wouldn’t believe in St Nick because I
didn’t want to hurt them. If money runs out, if a crisis hits, if Christmas
isn’t affordable one year, what exactly am I supposed to say? Santa judged them
naughty because of my lack of disposable income? No matter what explanation I
give, that is what they’re going to believe. So I don’t blame the families who
go into debt to avoid it."
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
